Introducing: The Stiffs

What exactly is a big white stiff? You may be asking that very question at this very moment. Is it just a big, slow, tall white guy? Well, yes. That's exactly right. But who are the stiffs? Allow me to introduce a few of my personal favorites.


Bryce Husak- Sr, Saint Louis University
Tale of the tape: 7'0" 260 lbs

Must resist urge to crack a Majerus big stiff joke...Ok, it passed. SLU always seems to play my Dayton Flyers twice a year, so I've seen a good amount of Husak (pronounced: Who-shock) over the last four years. He's the total package. He can step out and hit the 17 footer, and...well, that's about it. He averages 6.0 points and 4.4 rebounds, while blocking a beastly 1.7 shots per game. On a team that has to light it up to reach 40 points, Bryce is an important cog in the wheel.

Kurt Huelsman- So, University of Dayton
Tale of the tape: 6'11" 240 lbs

This is a homer pick, but Kurt is my favorite BWS of the moment. He averages 6.0 points and 4.5 rebounds a game, but his impact goes beyond that. Kurt is a very good passer for a big man, and his overall game is improving pretty rapidly. Like most stiffs, Kurt has the face of a 13 year old, but the body of an Adonis.

Scot Pollard- Boston Celtics
Tale of the tape: 6'11" 265 lbs

Scot Pollard is a man's man. He's been known to rock the mohawk, and look right into a camera and tell kids to use drugs while his team is in a huddle during a timeout. He is what we all aspire to be. Currently he's averaging 1.9 points and 1.7 boards a game. That, my friends, is nearly a double-double in my book. How important is this man? He played for the Cavs last season, and they won the Eastern Conference. Over the summer he signed with the Boston Celtics, and immediately the pundits claimed they were one of the favorites to win the NBA title in 2008. Scot Pollard is a winner, pure and simple.

Kevin Malone- Dunder-Mifflin Scranton
Tale of the tape: Above average height, portly, male pattern baldness

Kevin is just an ordinary accountant by day, and the kick ass drummer of the band Scrantonicity II by night. His hobbies include paper football, gambling, laughing at anything that remotely sounds like a sexual innuendo, and lying on the beach eating hot dogs.

But when you get this guy on the floor, he's "wet" as the kids say. I once witnessed him make 7 or 8 straight 15 foot jumpers. Impressive, and it earns Big Kev a spot in my heart.

That's just a sampling of the quality stiffs that currently roam the basketball world. There are many more, and I will do my best to bring them the notoriety they rightfully deserve.

As a side note, the inaugural BWS Hall of Fame inductions will be taking place this weekend. So look out for that.