Masochism

I shouldn't take sports so seriously. I mean, they're meaningless in the big picture of life. It's a fantasy land of sorts, separated from reality. I should just turn off the TV or computer, and move on with what's really important. Family, friends, work, my dog...anything.

But here I sit, unable to do any of that. It has been an hour since my favorite team, the Dayton Flyers, suffered a crushing collapse to La Salle, effectively ending any realistic chance they had to make the NCAA tourney. Simply put, they blew it. I shouldn't feel like this.

Hell, I'm used to my teams losing games and constantly breaking my heart. I grew up right in the middle of the Bungles era, watching David Klingler, Ki-Jana Carter, Dan Wilkinson, and Akili Smith bring things to a whole new level of suck. I didn't know what good NFL football looked like. In 2005, everything changed. The Bengals won the division and looked to make a deep playoff run. On their second play of their first playoff game in 15 years, Carson Palmer found Chris Henry for a huge gain. This was it. We really were going to do something special. Then the camera panned back to see Palmer on the ground, writhing in pain from a blown out knee. Season over. Dream over. Back to reality.

I grew up watching the Reds get swept out of the 1995 NLCS only to fall from grace the very next year. In 1999, they rebounded and had a special year for the ages, only to get shutout by Al fucking Liter in a one game wildcard playoff. That offseason, the Reds traded for the best player in the game, and hometown hero, Ken Griffey Jr. This is really going to happen. A little over a year later, Junior blew out his hamstring. Him, and the Reds, haven't been the same since. Dream over. Back to reality.

In 2006 the Buckeyes were perfection on grass. They couldn't be stopped. Troy Smith won the Heisman, and the team beat VLoyd once again and headed to the National title game. It was going to be a coronation. Teddy Ginn took the opening kickoff back for a TD. This was going to happen. 3 hours later Florida polished off a 41-14 asskicking. Dream over. Back to reality.

This past year, it happened again. The Buckeyes were back in the title game after an unlikely season. It was special. Beanie Wells took the second play of the game for a long TD run. Shortly after that the Bucks made it a 10-0 lead. This year was going to be different. It was happening. 3 hours later LSU was capping off a 38-24 win. Dream over. Back to reality.

In 2003, the Flyers had a banner year. They won the A10 title and rode into the Big Dance on high. Many people said they were a sleeper Final Four pick. Something special was going to happen. They even fell behind #13 seed Tulsa big early, and came back to within a few. It was going to happen. Sean Finn slammed home a put back dunk to draw the Flyers even closer. That was it. Offensive goaltending negated the dunk, and the Flyers were upset, ending a dream season. Back to reality.

The lone bright spot was an improbable Buckeyes national title in 2002. They upset the great Miami Hurricanes. I'm not married, I don't have kids...I consider that night the greatest I've had in my 22 years of life.

You know what? The pain of being brought back to reality so many times has numbed the great feeling of that night many times over. I can't remember exactly how I felt when the final pass fell and the Buckeyes stormed the field in victory. I look back and remember being happy, but the feeling is gone. I only remember pain.

It shouldn't be that way. Sports isn't reality. The outcome of games should not effect how I feel. I should just put down the remote and move on. There's more important things to be done. I shouldn't feel this intense pain and sorrow over some people I don't know losing a game.

But I do. And you know what, I'm not sure I'd want it any other way. I'm a fan. See you Sunday, Flyer fans. I wouldn't miss it for the world.